I am 72 years old, have $3 million in savings, and would like to live with my son when he gets married and has children. Can you afford two apartments?

If he moves in with his girlfriend, I will have to pay at least $30,000 per year for an apartment. I’m worried I won’t have any money left to pay another $30,000 for a place in Florida, if not Southern California, then probably closer. I have arthritis but am in good health. I exercise a lot and eat healthy. Even though I am older, I hope to be able to help my grandchildren, and I want to help them as much as I can.

Can you afford two apartments? I would love to be able to live in a ‘mother-in-law’ apartment with them someday if they move to the DC suburbs, but unfortunately that isn’t the case for the foreseeable future.

see: We are in our 70s and have $1.3 million in IRA and $1.15 million in cash. But we have no ‘clue’ what to do with that money.

Dear readers,

There are a lot of moving parts to this letter, but if your goal is to be in two places, it can be done with a lot of planning. What you need to do right now is get serious about it and make a plan, whether your son is married yet or not.

For example, you say you want to live with your son and future wife and help raise your grandchildren. Is that full time? Or do you want to split your time in the future, with or without grandchildren? There are no wrong answers here. Many people do not live right next to their relatives, while others enjoy living in one place for half the year and another for the second half.

Before you get too invested in the idea of ​​living with your son and his future family, you need to find out what they want. It’s certainly not unheard of, as many families live with multiple generations, but what would all parties involved value most if they had the property to live nearby?

How are your living conditions and finances? It might be premature to have this conversation with both of you since you’re not sure how serious your son and his girlfriend are, but you could try discussing these ideas with your son while you figure out your plans. Make sure you cover all your ground.

income versus debt

There are many factors that go into whether you can afford two apartments. And you can’t create a real financial plan until you have clearer answers. But you can start planning your vision for retirement. Get a notebook or spreadsheet and list all your income, including Social Security, pensions, and withdrawals from current retirement assets. Then look at your debt, which includes your debt payments and the current costs of renting or owning a home (like the rent or mortgage itself, utilities, taxes and insurance, etc.). What are the cash inflows and outflows, and how do they change if you change the parameters for consolidating two apartments?

Please conduct this research with an open mind. For example, if you’re looking for an apartment in each area that costs about $30,000, that works out to about $2,500 per month (double that). Of course, it can also be in the form of a lease or mortgage. Do you want to own a home in a “prime” area close to family and rent another home for a few months of the year in a warm climate like California or Florida? (If you want tax residence: Florida has no state income tax.)

Equity and Flexibility

If you own a home, you can preserve some of your equity by investing in real estate. It’s not something everyone wants to own, but it’s equity that you can utilize in your golden years or leave as a legacy to your family. And if you rent for several months of the year, even during the winter, you don’t have to sign a lease, which could tie up your money for a year or more. You’ll have more flexibility and you won’t have to worry about subletting.

Either way, track both rents and housing costs in areas of interest. Realtor, Redfin RDFN,
-2.20%
And Zillow Z,
-1.22%
You can check the average price for the type of place you’re looking for and sales history in the area to see how prices have been inflated over the years. Unless you’re looking to buy or rent in two places right away, these numbers will likely fluctuate (up and down), but at least you have an idea of ​​the markets you’re interested in. This will help you make an informed decision and you will have a better idea of ​​whether you really want to be in both places or not.

While you’re doing all this planning, think carefully about other costs, including medical care (which can be prohibitive), groceries, taxes, and travel (especially if you’re traveling between the two countries).

It’s great that you want to be healthy overall and be there for your son and future family. Opening up to him about these ideas can actually give you a better idea of ​​how to properly plan for your future.

See also: ‘I want to stay in my own home’: I am 76 years old and have no relatives. What should I do with my property?