The world of emerging technology has delivered a frenzied year dominated by an unquenchable passion for artificial intelligence, with big bets and strange twists. As the pace of breakthroughs continues to accelerate and new stories and ideas abound every day, it takes something special to stand out. Ideally, the differentiator is a truly game-changing, transformational project. But sometimes things get weird.
Not all innovations are created equal. Some make us admire human ingenuity, while others make us laugh or cringe.
So buckle up your vegan leather seatbelt and let’s embark on a journey through the strangest tech trends of 2023. From a beer made with a sexy Twitch influencer’s vaginal yeast to a bathroom that knows you better than your doctor, it’s here. A bizarre story that keeps our eyebrows in permanent and fascinating Vulcan arches.
Quality beer, because yes
From the farthest remote edges of influencer culture, Amouranth decided to take the leap from the digital pool to brewing. Her latest entrepreneurial beer? Beer fermented with her vaginal yeast. Working with ‘The Order Of Yoni’, a brewery no stranger to the bizarre, she decided to create a concoction that combines her personal signature with liquid courage. “They want my vaginal sourdough,” she said, sparking the curiosity of bread lovers and casual drinkers alike.
While some may find this idea scratching their heads or wrinkling their noses, this concept isn’t the only aberration in the world of craft beer. ‘The Order Of Yoni’ have been in the game for some time, brewing a beer they call ‘the essence of femininity’ and adding their personal touch to various models they describe as ‘gods’. This product ensures the safety of the beverage and a scientifically supported process, including isolation and culture of Lactobacillus bacteria from vaginal swabs.
The transition from virtual girlfriend to brewmaster may seem like a stretch to some, but in the vast landscape of influencer merchandise, Amouranth’s combination fits right at home. “People will definitely buy it,” she says. Ultimately, it’s the story behind each sip that sells the bottle amid the diversity of consumer tastes. Cheers!
AI Love and Porn
Welcome to the strange new world of AI-generated adult entertainment, where users can customize exciting content down to the smallest detail. For some, it’s about lonely hearts or infinite, bizarre boudoir customization. For others, 2023 is the year that gives new meaning to what it means to be a “significant other.”
The emergence of generative AI has ushered in an era where basically anything is possible in terms of content creation. Now, with just a few clicks, you can “configure” your virtual lover as conservative, kinky, dominant, or submissive and sext with them just like any other human being.
Want to take it to another level? Create your own lifelike image and design every part of your body. Want to take it to another level? Animate images using our video generator. Want to take it to another level? Give your model a realistic synthetic voice and have it read your messages as if it were speaking to you. Want to take it to another level? Create a lifelike 3D sex doll so you can get intimate with your perfect life partner after an awesome role-playing session.
The next step could be DNA design, which could take us directly to a Huxley dystopia.
So, enter the brave new world of AI love. May your fantasies be fulfilled even if your reality is still real.
(AImost) Award-winning AI music
In the great music rewind of 2023, the melody that truly resonated through the tech world was “Heart on My Sleeve,” a shadowy figure known as Ghostwriter977 who harmoniously usurped the music industry. Critics may call it a deepfake song, but fans have been clamoring for the beat and humorously calling it the best Drake song in years. Ironically, it was made without Drake.
Ghostwriter claims that a little bit of AI is all it takes to turn Drake’s vocals into hip-hop gold.
‘Heart on My Sleeve’ was a hot topic around the time the Grammy Awards were held. Can an AI-created track win the music industry’s highest honor? The Recording Academy briefly thought so, demonstrating the confusing conundrum of AI artistry. Ultimately, the song was deemed too synthetic to be made into a statue.
And that’s not the only Ai song out there. Those with more sophisticated tastes (e.g. Children of Bodom, In Flames, Arch Enemy) will love The Forstbite Orckings, a cool-sounding metal band created by generative AI. And if you want some inspiration, Suno can generate some great short song ideas for you, so you can skip all the boring brainstorming process with your band and lazy people.
Next generation biohacking
There are biohackers, there are fitness enthusiasts, and even Brian Johnson, who pursues eternal youth, makes Peter Pan look like someone who has given up. From shockwave therapy to rejuvenate his private parts, blood injections from his son, to a diet of dozens of pills a day just for fun, he’s not just chasing the fountain of youth, he’s trying to wallow in it. It’s a bold move that has everyone from Elon Musk to regular Joe reacting to the emoji all over social media.
He claimed to have achieved six months of perfect sleep, a feat that seemed more boastful than restful. It’s as if Johnson is trying to outdo all the teenagers who brag about staying up all night. Except, he’s doing the opposite and has a much bigger bank account. And yes, his data shows that he is showing signs of a better-behaving metabolism than many healthy young people.
Gone are the days when biohacking was fun and exciting. No alcohol, no good food, no quiet nights, and a schedule full of treatments that sound more like a mad scientist’s diary than a billionaire’s bucket list. Why would you want to live forever with this routine?
Telepathic AI: Becoming mainstream in thought and speech
In 2023, Meta’s AI will sketch our thoughts, turning our private daydreams into a public gallery, turning us into unconscious art exhibits. It’s like mind reading on steroids, but instead of a crystal ball, it’s about brain scans and algorithms. Now, while we worry about leaving the oven on, we might also worry about our brains accidentally spilling our embarrassing secrets or our long shower karaoke playlist.
But as strange as it sounds, this technology is actually changing lives. Take Unbabel’s Project Halo as an example. Want to send a nasty comment or order pizza just by thinking about it? Now you can! These new mind-reading AIs have given quadriplegics mobility and a voice, while seemingly taking us one step closer to Minority Report.
As we navigate this new telepathic landscape, the line between innovation and oversharing has become thinner than ever. In a world full of TMI, this thought-to-speech model promises to turn every brain wave into a potential tweet. At this rate, we have to be careful about what we think publicly. Otherwise, our next thought might be the talk of the town.
AI toilet that analyzes urine
Bathrooms will start to become smarter starting in 2023. Withings’ U-Scan turns your bathroom into a laboratory and turns every visit into a potential health checkup. This is not your typical piss and plunge affair. A high-tech pee review that reads everything from hydration levels to hormonal changes. The bathroom, once a solitary space, now houses nosy health consultants eager to spill the beans on your bodily functions.
Of course, at-home urine analysis is nothing new, but U-Scan takes it to a new, albeit slightly invasive, level. Imagine the thrill of discovering your vitamin levels or kidney status while buttoning something. It’s like having a mini doctor in your toilet, minus the medical degree and bedside manner. It’s probably already on Brian Johnson’s Christmas list.
Believe it or not, comedians were ahead of their time and used to tell jokes like this years ago. Today’s technology makes these sketches seem almost prophetic. The throne, which transforms from a simple garbage disposal to a bathroom analyst, is having the last laugh. If you’re interested, take a look at this fake ad to see beyond comedy into data farming, lobbying, AI taking over our lives, best corporate culture, and more.
With toilets getting this smart, what’s next in the bathroom technology revolution? We shudder just thinking about it.
Edited by Ryan Ozawa.
