My father died without a will. His wife has moved and I am paying the mortgage.

She can’t afford to make the monthly payments. As his only daughter, I am second in a row. I need a place to live while I fix up my other house. my FICO score FICO,
+1.99%
You’re very poor, but that amount will increase when you pay off your house in 2025 or 2026. I want to do the right thing but the last few times I called she didn’t answer. She knew her house had funds, but English is her second language and she doesn’t trust me.

Her children can’t help. I offered them the opportunity to sell it to me, keep it for her and pay her bills, or sell her outright. They mulled over it for two months, but they moved her and some of her furniture and I moved out. Now no one answers.

I would appreciate your help. The house is in New Mexico.

stepdaughter

Related: ‘I don’t want my wife to lose everything’: Diagnosed with dementia. She suddenly found herself unable to spell or read.

Dear Stepdaughter,

It doesn’t say whether your father bought this house before or during the marriage, or whether your stepmother’s name is on the deed, but if both are on the mortgage, the end result is the same. This house is considered community property, so your stepmother is the sole owner. In New Mexico, when an individual dies and leaves behind a spouse and children, the spouse receives 100% of the community property and one-fourth of the separate property, and the children receive the remainder.

Why do you want to buy your father’s house? Does it have sentimental value, or do you think you could get a good price to rent it from your stepmother? Think carefully about making financial decisions based on your emotional attachment to this home. Most people process grief and recover within a year after a loss, but it can take longer than that, according to the National Institutes of Health. Some people experience a prolonged mourning process. You should only purchase this home if it makes financial sense.

After a loved one dies, you may decide that your unhappiness could go away or be resolved by changing other things in your life. In your case, your father may be purchasing the house because he loves it and does not want it to fall into the hands of strangers. That’s understandable, but you might feel differently later. For others, it might be a career change. Even though most people have things they like or dislike about their jobs. Or it could be selling personal items that remind you of a lost relative.

Start the Probate Process

I need a place to live right now while my house is being renovated. However, we recommend that you proceed with probate and contact the probate court or county court so that they can appoint an administrator for your father’s estate. Your stepmother dropped her ball and moved out of state for reasons known only to her. You can also petition the probate court to appoint you as administrator of your father’s estate. Either way, it’s time to focus on your father’s wealth rather than paying the mortgage on the house.

As his only daughter, you are entitled to three-quarters of his separate property, but this does not include his house because he shared it with his wife. I assume that if she has a mortgage on her, it’s on her deed too. Most couples will own the property as joint tenants with right of survivorship. Assuming all of this is true, you are paying a mortgage on a property you do not own. You are kicking your way down the road until you can no longer afford to pay for two houses. This money is better spent at home.

Now is the time to focus on your own financial and emotional well-being. Assets held in a trust, an account payable upon death, or a life insurance policy with beneficiaries listed can avoid probate. Keeping your credit card balances low and paying your debts and bills on time can help boost your FICO score. Don’t open new credit cards or close existing credit cards to improve your credit score. Always check your credit report for errors and find out what caused your score to be so low in the first place. (More details can be found on the FICO website.)

You say you want to do the right thing. If you continue to pay off this house, you are paying off someone else’s debt. Considering your credit score and the fact that you have another home to take care of, it doesn’t make sense to make your stepmother’s house your responsibility. She has left town and communication with her is impossible. Now is the time to put yourself first. I have no doubt that your father would have loved to see you financially stable and living in your own home without the stress and burden of owning your own home.

If you have any financial or ethical questions, you can email The Moneyist at qfottrell@marketwatch.com and you can follow Quentin Fottrell on X, a platform previously known as Twitter.

Moneyist regrets that we are unable to answer questions individually.

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